Babies & Divorce

Divorce is a difficult experience to go through. When divorcing with children, the difficulties are compounded. Not only are there custody and parenting decisions to make, but the feelings and emotions of the children must be attended to and watched. Divorce is also difficult if the baby is still breastfeeding or is used to spending the majority of her time with one parent.

Breastfeeding

If the baby is breastfed, there can be issues with maintaining that during the divorce. Breastfeeding is a bonding experience for mother and baby. The primary goal of the courts during a divorce is to keep the bond between the child and both parents. While breastfeeding is officially recognized as best for the baby, it will not be considered over the bond of the father. In order to continue breastfeeding, and make sure that all needs are met, work to show how the baby's bond with the father can be promoted, without interrupting the breastfeeding process.

Young Infants -- Birth to 8 Months

Babies are able to recognize changes in their parents behavior, stress-levels and behavior. Divorce often inspires anger and sadness in the parents. While an infant does not know why, he may feel more anxious during and after a divorce. If one parent does not see the baby often, such as only for weekly visitation, it is hard for him to build a strong bond and connection with that parent. Another factor is that babies develop stranger anxiety between six and eight months.

Older Infants -- 8 to 18 months

Separation anxiety goes into overdrive between eight months and one year of age. Not only will the baby feel anxiety, but she may cling and scream when going to overnight visits with a parent that she does not live with. A baby at that age does not know what divorce means and why she can not spend time with the custodial parent.

Easing Adjustment

There are ways to ease the adjustment and prevent challenges with your baby. Be more aware of stress in the baby. Signs of stress include additional crying, loss of appetite, trouble sleeping and being more withdrawn. Keep regular routines with the baby, at both households. This helps him feel more secure as he knows what will happen and what to expect. Keep bath time and bed time at the same times each day.