Every woman is different, and a woman may even have different experiences with different pregnancies. With her first pregnancy, a woman may find that her libido doesn't return for months after the birth, while after the second child she may feel ready for intimacy again much sooner, regardless of breastfeeding. However, breastfeeding does tend to have certain effects on a woman's sex drive, and the effects may last for several months after nursing ceases.
Nursing Does Not Increase Libido
While some women may experience an increase in libido while breastfeeding, as a general rule nursing tends to diminish sex drive in women, rather than enhance it. There are ways to improve this problem, but often women feel less inclined for sexual activity while breastfeeding.
Why Nursing Decreases Libido
Breastfeeding decreases the amount of estrogen you produce, according to HealthyWomen.org. Estrogen helps keeps your vagina moist and flexible, so if you're lacking in that you may find sex a bit uncomfortable. And if sex is uncomfortable you're less likely to want to have it. Also while nursing, your body makes more prolactin, a hormone that suppresses sexual desire. At the same time, you're also producing less testosterone, which is a male hormone but is also responsible for increasing overall sex drive in women. All in all, hormones are wreaking havoc on your sex drive. In addition, you may be exhausted from the physical demands of breastfeeding and emotionally drained from taking care of a small person all the time, in addition to being sleep-deprived. Not a good combination for a healthy sex life, at least temporarily.
How Long Does the Decrease in Libido Last?
For some women, libido will get back to normal as soon as breastfeeding ceases. In other cases, though, it can take a bit longer. IntimateMarriage.org explains that for some women, libido doesn't return until several months after breastfeeding is finished. Rarely, it can take up to a year after a woman ceases breastfeeding for her to get her normal sex drive back.
How to Improve Libido While Breastfeeding
If you're having trouble getting in the mood for sex, try to establish intimacy with your partner in other ways, such as taking a bath together or giving each other a massage. Carve out time together as a couple, even if that means having a candlelit dinner at home once a week after the baby is in bed. If possible, take some time alone without the baby so you can go out on a date, take a long walk or even just go shopping by yourselves. When you do have sex, take it slow and use a water-based lubricant if necessary to make it more comfortable for you.
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